The Bottle Game
by Alex Damien
Summary: Stuck together in a ruined store, Firion, Tidus and Cecil end up playing one of the worst games known to men. Crack. This makes NO SENSE.


"Well, this is kid of a downer" said Tidus, sitting on the dusty floor of the run down house where they had seeked refuge. "First store we find, and it's got nothing!"

"There's a lot food!" said Cecil, showing him a pink bag.

"Candy doesn't count."

"There is real food too!"

"Canned bread doesn't count either."

"You're just angry because all the alcohol was taken."

Tidus frowned.

"That's got to have been my old man! That drunken bastard!"

Firion came walking from around a shelf and looked down at his two companions sitting on the floor.

"There are chairs on the back, you know" he said.

"Shhh, we're busy." said Tidus, with his eyes closed and rubbing his temples "I'm trying to send hatred waves to my dad."

"Hatred...waves...?" Suddenly Firion realized that Cecil had a few empty bags in front of him, and was happily digging into another. "What's that?"

"Candy."

Firion pointed at the empty bags.

"Didn't you just picked those up? What were they?"

"Candy."

Firion narrowed his eyes. He had an angry kid and sugar-high white paladin (who could at any moment go dark!knight on him), a war to fight, and their optimism levels were dangerously low.

He looked out the window at the darkening sky. Just what he needed, a storm was looked like they weren't going to go any forward today.

"Well, let's rest for a while. It's been a long while and it won't do any good to get ambushed while we're so tired."

He sat down next to them, and kicked an empty glass bottle away. Cecil picked it up.

"Oh, I know! Let's play a game!"

Firion blinked at the intense gaze on Cecil's eyes. Did sugar made them look much more purple?

"Game?"

"Hate, hate, hate..." said Tidus. Cecil took a chocolate cookie and shoved it into his mouth.

"Here, have sugar."

"I don't-"

"Eat." Firion sat straight at the way Cecil's eyes took a different shine when he said that. It looked like he'd gone dark knight and forgotten to change clothes. "So, who wants to play?"

"Yes, sure, let's play. Uhm, what are we playing?"

"Truth of Dare."

"Well, I'll be damned" said Firion, and covered his mouth when he realized he'd said that aloud. Tidus and Cecil laughed.

"That's the spirit Rosebud." said Tidus, and dug into the cookies bag.

Cecil smiled and showed them the bottle. "Neck is the victim, bottom is the one who asks. Alright?" the other warriors nodded and he spun the bottle on the floor. With his strenght, it took a couple of minutes for it to stop spinning, enough for Tidus to finish another bag of cookies.

Tidus got the neck, Cecil the bottom, and Firion had to bite his tongue to not show how relieved he was.

"Truth!" said Tidus, relaxing on his spot on the floor "I ain't moving."

"Hmmm, well. Apart from Jecht, who do you hate the most from the chaos team?"

"The emperor dude. What is up with all that reigning and I'm the greatest ruler ever deal? Also, that sound he makes when you hit him? Uh-bo-uh? He's really weird."

Firion laughed as Tidus spinned the bottle, and nearly chocked when he found himself on the end of the bottle neck with Cecil on the other side.

"Well then?" asked Cecil

"Uh, truth"

"Hmm. Why do you wear that...headscarf?"

Firion blinked, and pointed to his head.

"Uh, this? Well...I..." he caught the words 'I think it's pretty' before it was too late "A-a friend gave it to me."

Cecil smiled in the way that Firion thought he used to smile under his black armor. Firion narrowed his eyes and spinned the bottle, praying in his mind for it to let Cecil into his grasp to ask The Question.

And his prayers were answered, when the bottle signaled to Cecil. It was Firion's time to smirk.

"Dare."

"What? No! Say truth!"

"No! That's what you want me to say, so I'm not going to give in."

Firion gritted his teeth. Time to be cruel.

"Fine then." he pointed to the rain outside. "Run in the rain. With only your underwear."

"W-w-what?"

Tidus bursted out laughing.

"You said Dare! You've got to do it!"

"Wait. What was the question? Can I exchange?"

Firion smirked even more.

"Of course. The question was: Is the purple on your lips makeup, or a natural color?"

Cecil whined.

#

"You should be careful" said Emperor Mateus to Golbez "To those who belong in the dark, light is deadly, so don't try to reach for it."

Golbez crossed his arms. The emperor and Garland had brought him tto a hidden cave for an 'important talk'. He only hoped this didn't get out of hand. In the bloody way things used to get out of hand in the chaos side.

"Are you calling me a traitor now?"

"I'm just saying, you should have your loyalties straight."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your brother" said Garland.

"He's got nothing to do with this. You asked me to get him to join us-"

"No. Your brother's...there. What is he doing?"

Golbez turned around to the entrance of the cave and saw his younger brother running in the rain, almost naked.

"I don't think we're going to need him anymore" said Garland, but Golbez was already out of the cave, dashing towards his brother.


End file.
